I Skipped Christmas

Deserved

Today was a special day for Miss Olivia. She has been working particularly hard on a gymnastics skill on the uneven bars and finally mastered it. As a reward, we took her and a fellow gymnast out to get a special manicure and pedicure. She was all about it and looked so grown up sitting there with her feet in the little tub. I know she was in her glory.

CONGRATULATIONS OLIVIA!!!

Add Another

I figured I'd better get this out before I have to do it again in a few days for daughter number 2. So, pardon the post dating!

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY GABI!!!

Her Pop Pop was in for the day and that really added to her day. All she wanted to do was go to Build-A-Bear Workshop that day. She actually wanted to take a bunch of friends with her to which I quickly said 'No' to after calculating the price. I think it's a silly concept. I'm not a stuffed animal lover, I think they are a waist of money but she insisted so we took the trip to the mall to pick out a deflated stuffed friend. She picked a panda bear, stuffed it with fluff, gave it a voice (it giggles), we all added a little heart to the inside of it and I even threw in a wedding dress for the stupid thing. The one thing that I failed to notice as we left the house was my darling daughter's outfit. As she stepped out of the van at the mall, I couldn't help but notice her little denim shorts and then as I continued looking down, the black riding boots that she had chosen to wear with them.

Gabi's new friend from Build-A-Bear

. . .and her latest fashion statement

What can I say, she's a Foo!!

Yep, Still There

Today is September 11.

Who remembered?

Probably the whole country.

Well, let me tell you, I haven't forgotten.

I was at lunch yesterday with a friend talking nonsense, when he happened to mention that it would be September 11 tomorrow. My demeneor immediately changed.

This morning we watched CNN in New York. We observed the moment of silence to commemorate when the first plane hit the World Trade Center.

It still hurt. Tears still came to my eyes.

I will never forget.

Abbreviated

It's come that time again. I can't believe it came so soon but it is here. It approaches with apprehension and gritting of teeth. I don't think I can do it like last year. Those expectations are so high. It's always been a coming together of fun times, relaxing with siblings and sharing in the burden of the things we choose to do. But oh, the patience it takes. The patience it takes to keep a level head. I know I just can't do it this year. Pam changed that. Her death has sent all of us into a tail spin. I am coming to realize that sometimes you don't realize the impact someone has on your life until they are gone. We are finding that out. And we are finding that the energy and emotion it took to deal with the events surrounding Pam's death and funeral have made a major impact on our desire and ability to just pack up and come together. I know I am not alone in these feelings.

But we did it anyway. Abbreviated as it was, we did it anyway. Camp GrandMAMA might not have been the magnitude it was in the past but all 8 of those kids came together at my house to do things and visit places you can only do at Camp GrandMAMA.

Dead Stop

It's been a while. Things move along at lightening speed. First, I feel like I've done my new little niece such a disservice. I casually mentioned her several posts ago and have never shared anything about her or even a picture. I'm sorry little Rosemary Pearl. I know you are the second child but you are just as important as your older sister. To introduce as of January 28, 2008, little Miss Rosemary Pearl -

She's adorable. She's a skinny little thing, has long legs and arms and long fingers - just like her momma. I think she looks nothing like her sister. This one definitely has our genes from our side of the family. What a sweetie she is. And then there is her nutty sister!

And life continues to move at lightening speed . . .

Jake on the trampoline

Cousins at the Ft. Myers Miracle baseball game

Cousins

And when we get home from Florida, life continues to speed by . . . .

Olivia and her gymnastic buddies

And then, out of the blue, it comes to a dead stop. Some things happen in life that stop you dead in your tracks. Things that change your life forever. No turning back. No do-overs. The what-if's just don't matter. Trying to put the puzzle together is supposed to help but does it. Or does it just make it worse. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. The answers aren't coming soon enough. And it's even harder to think that some answers won't come at all. And then what do we do. What conclusions will we come to. What conclusions will help us get through this. What conclusions will make it all right in our minds, to give it meaning, purpose. What will we tell ourselves to keep sane. I just don't know right now. I just don't know. And I don't look forward to the time when I have to deal with it. Right now, I choose to put it away.

I found out on Tuesday night that my dad's wife, Pam, had died.

My life will never be the same.

Olivia, Olivia, Olivia

So, I just realized that the last few months I have posted alot about my little Olivia. Really, I do have 2 other children. I thought this picture, taken by Foo this weekend, was exceptionally cute of me and Liv. I also like it because I look mostly human and not like a taxi driver (that's the new hat I wear these days).

But really, the main purpose of this post is to share a picture of my other two darling children. And please don't ask me why my daughter had a bucket on her head.

That picture is of Jake playing catcher for the Mets, his baseball team. Both him and Gabi had opening day for teeball and baseball this past weekend. This is Jake's 3rd year with his baseball team. Next year he moves up to a different age bracket. What is amazing me is that this year, he is one of the kids I used to be frightened of when he first started playing a few years ago. He's one of those BIG kids now that used to make me cringe when Jake had to play those types of kids. These little boys would come up to hit the ball and when Jake had to return it to the pitcher, he would stand up and these little boys were just turning around and having to look up to this beast of a boy - my son!!!! Several times when Jake would hit and run to first base, the first baseman would get out of his way for fear of being pummeled! 9 out of the 10 players on Jake's team are 3rd year kids. Their first game was against a very young team and unfortunately for Jake the pitcher was his next door neighbor. When this kid was pitching to Jake, he had to control his laughter and smiles as they were both looking at each other. I wasn't sure who to cheer for and ended up cheering for both of them. The first time Jake batted he ended up getting a hit off the kid, I felt so sorry for the pitcher. But then, the second time Jake hit, that pitcher struck him out! I guess that's neighbor street justice for ya. We are looking forward to a great season this year. Jake's team actually has a chance at going to the playoffs. They won their first game and I hope there are many more like that!

It's All in the Hairstyle and other Lizard Stories

I am leaving the date the way it is as this was the day that I actually started writing this.

I'm learning that it's all in the hairstyle. It's not as much about the leotard, the warm-up or even the walk. It'a all in the hairstyle. The sparkles, the glitter, the crazy designs made in their heads. I only let my darling daughter do this once and a while as the tiny elastics pull out the hairs around her face. But I gave in for this one special meet.

Now that comeptition season is over, she is banned from these designs in her head. I have to give her fine hair a chance to grow back out so we can do it all again in October when she starts competing again.

And on to our next story . . .

One of the fun things we do when we are in Florida is to catch lizards from my dad's pool area and bring them back out into the grass. We get to do this often as the little guys are everywhere!! This past visit, there was a little anole lizard on the concrete surrounding my dad's pool. I called the kids attention to it and we all gathered around to get as close as we could before it ran off. Well, it just sat there and looked at us. I asked Olivia to pick it up and bring it out to the grass. But when she picked it up, it just sat there in her hands and made no attempt to escape.

Everyone got a chance to hold it and besides running up our arms or our hands, it never tried to jump away or even bite us. Immediately, Olivia fell in love with this little guy and started begging me to keep it. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to my daughter. I said that he would be happier there in Florida and that we should give him a chance to make a run for it. So, we brought him outside to the grass to let him go. Even there, he just sat in her hands.

After a while and several attempts at putting the lizard in the grass to which he just sat there and didn't run away, I decided to put him in a little container until I could talk with the kids Grammy Pammy, a lover of all things small, to decide if it was even possible to keep a lizard up norh. Well, we have a new pet now. Olivia decided to name him Immokalee after a city in Florida. The lizard didn't cost us a thing but his northern home, well, that's another story.

Immokalee's Northern Home

Holding on to Dear Life

As many of you may, or may not be aware, my father has cancer. He has had it for several years and it has been able to be managed enough to not affect his life to much. That was until a few months ago when some of the tumors started popping up again. His cancer is not curable. As a matter of fact, it's quite rare. So anything the limited research has been able to come up with to fight it has been welcome. That's why, when the baby killing medicine of yesteryear, thalidomide, was suggested as a way to combat some of those tumors, the method was tried out. After significantly altering my dad's life for a period of months, it was decided that that method wasn't helping at all and could have, in fact, made it worse. So here we are, faced with the fact that, according to the research, there is only one other drug that could possibly send those tumors back into remission. How long? Nobody knows. Will it work? Only time will tell.

So I hold onto these moments. These opportunities to be a part of his life. These memories that will one day become all I have left. I ache not as much for me but for those grandkids of his who adore him. They have been with him since the day they were born. I wish he could be with them when they have their own. Who knows, maybe he will. The sucky part is, I have to deal with the fact that maybe he won't.

For so many years, this cancer has been one of those subjects that was on the bottom of the list. He took his treatments, the tumors stayed away and that was that. We did other things, said other things, debated other things, enjoyed other things. Their was a time that he tried chemotherapy and lost all of his hair. Let me tell you, that was a reality check. To have to see him like that was very painful but we did it anyway. In fact, in some strange way, it became mandatory. Not for us but for his grandkids. It was important that they see him that way. They had to start to get an understanding that their beloved Pop Pop had cancer. And we all went to see him that Thanksgiving. The 6 grandkids at the time, decided on a special hat for him to wear to hide his bald head. I wish I had the pictures to post because it was hysterical to see all of them piled up on his lap, so proud of the chicken hat that he was wearing, totally oblivious to the baldness their Pop Pop had acquired. That reality check came again a few months ago when he was undergoing the thalidomide treatment. He basically hibernated for those months. That medicine was given once at night to pregnant women to help them sleep. He was taking it 4 times a day. How do YOU think he felt? To have to watch this protector of mine be devoid of energy and pep, to start talking about 'the end game', to physically see the effects of the cancer fight going on in his body - it's painful. Just so painful.

But here we are. Soaking up time with him as we soak up sun in Florida. I just can't help wondering if we will be here next February. You see, we have a standing reservation in February down here. We're just expected to be here. And dad, I can't let you off the hook. I expect you to be here next year. I just don't know how realistic that is. I can tell you one thing. If you aren't, I don't know if I will be. This place will never be the same. It will never have the same appeal. It won't hold the same specialness that is does now. My haven. The place I go in my thoughts when I can't sleep. The place I run to when I am facing an anxiety attack. The place I long to be when life gets whacky. I hold onto the last 20 years of this time here with iron clenched fists. I will never let it go.

Traditional Pool Nap

Learning How to Use Suntan Lotion

Lunar Eclipse of Foo's Brain

Did you see what happened last night? Was it warm enough where you were to go outside and observe?

At 8:24 p.m., on our way home from a succulent meal of all-you-can eat Alaskan King crab, we decided that we were going to explain to the kids what was happening. It was a little cloudy but we could see the moon from the car. I asked the kids to look out the window at the moon.

Jake: Yeah, I see it.

Olivia:I see it too Momma.

Gabi:I don't see it.

Momma:Well, go over to Olivia's side of the car so you can see it too.

Gabi:All I see is cheese.

Sometimes I wonder if the Earth is coming between the moon and the sun in Foo's brain.

A Night With the Stars

So, I see I haven't posted for a while. My, my. I wonder where I've been.

Basically, I'm glad January is over. With my hubby in captain training for the 737, I was left alone, except for weekends, for the entire month. And let me tell you, I didn't get a break either. I was praying for peace and quiet and I got quite the opposite. I'm just going to end at that. When he did come home at the end of the month, I slept for 13 hours and then went back to bed for another 2 and believe it or not, I slept fine that night too. I was tired folks, just plain tuckered. I had spent every last bit of my energy surviving the month. Besides the birth of my newest neice, there is nothing good to say about that month.

So here we are now, a new month, a new job and paycheck and now a chance to unwind to be able to refocus. We are here in Florida, enjoying the time together and soaking in the rays. We went out to dinner a few nights ago, a place that had live entertainment. We had been to that place in the past and the girls were well aware of how the performer would be that night - Elvis. No, not the real Elvis, but he sure did a good job. The girls had a great time and even got out on the dance floor. It was just adorable!

Proud Momma

I have to share with you Olivia's gymnastics routines today. The gym was so small and we were so close to the beam and floor that I got some great video of her today. She really had a great meet and looked oh so sparkly! Here is her beam routine:

She got an 8.275 on that one. I was proud of her that she stuck all her moves and landed her dismount. She has had issues with it in practice and gets it only 50% of the time. As you can she, was happy with her performance too. Now, here is her floor routine. She got a 9.1, the highest score on her team!!! She ended up placing on floor (7th) and bars (6th) and all-around (6th), the team placed 3rd!

A BOY After My Own Heart

A few months ago, I posted an entry about my daughter and her new found skill, talent and love for gymnastics. As we all know, I was a gymnast when I was younger(and still am). I am so proud of my daughter for all her hard work and even prouder that she has taken an interest in a sport that I can relate to her.

This past week, we introduced our oldest kids to the sport of skiing. One of the ski centers in the area was running an unbeatable deal - $10 for a 1 hr lesson, ski rental and unlimited use of the school slopes. I couldn't resist having Jake and Olivia try it out - unfortunately, Gabi was just too young but enjoyed watching the other two and even more, having mommy and daddy to herself. What surprised me was that my sometimes hesitant son took to the sport immediately and insisted as soon as his lesson was done and he had mastered the first school slope, that we move to the next level. During their lesson, they used a tow to get up the very small hill. This is just a rope and pully system that you grab hold of and it takes you very slowly up the hill. When we got to the advanced school slope, it had a chair lift and a much larger hill. My daughter got half way down the slope, fell and lost her ski. Because she doesn't weigh much and the hill was a little icy, she had problems getting it back on herself. Of course, she was barely half way down the hill. Daddy to the rescue!!!! But Jake, I was having flashbacks of my ski days in high school - straight down was his way, straight down!! I was SO proud!

The downfall - now they are in love with skiing and want to go back. Doesn't surprise me that they would choose such an expensive sport! I guess it's time to look for used skis on craigslist!

My lifelong friend and me attempting an expert slope

Blue Mountain Ski Area

Happy 2008!

What a fun night! My dad and his wife, Tom's aunt and uncle from Indiana and his uncle from PA joined us on a fun filled evening. We went to First Night in Bethlehem and enjoyed a night of ice skating, browsing a speciality Christmas bazaar, riding a trolly, watching ice sculpting, enjoying Tom skating for the first time in a long time, roasting Peep marshamallows to make smores, fireworks and the best part - watching the Peep fall at midnight!! Even the kids made it through the night! I had to wake my dad up at five till midnight as he was enjoying one of his daily naps inside a warm, toasty building! It was great to share that night with family and hope to do it all again next year! Hope yours was a blast too!!

The yellow glowing ball at the left is the Peep waiting to fall