Jacob Thomas Keim - July 16, 1997 - May 16, 2005

Well, he made it to almost 8 years old and he just about lost his life a few days ago. There have been times in my parental life that I have seen parallels with my own childhood relationship with my parents, particularly my mom. This would be one of them. Let me explain.

I had to go to occupational therapy a few days ago to continue working on strengthening/stretching my injured finger out. Because of Tom's work schedule, I had to take all three of the kids with me. I bought them McD's before we went so their stomachs would be full and hopefully their mouths shut. They each had something to do during my 1 hour session - Jake was to be working on a book report, Olivia had Math homework (yes, homeschooled kids have homework too) and Gabi, well, I just locked her in the stroller hoping she wouldn't jump out. They all had explicit instructions to keep their mouths shut and work on the projects they had been given. I had no such luck. I would have to say that Olivia was the best. She actually finished the assignment she was given and didn't do to much talking - a feat for her. Gabi came in second place even though she threw her toys about ten times and it was very difficult to retrieve them when ones hand is in the hand of the therapists'. I had to excuse my hand several times to pick up whatever she had launched. And Jake, well, let me put it this way, if I had 10 cents for each time I had to look at him with the "you better knock it off" look, I would be a millionaire. I would have to say that this would have been one of the most embarrassing moments that I have had with my son. Jake has always been a button pusher. He has always tested his limits just to see how far he can push. I have always met those challenges and gently reminded him of his boundaries. For as long as I can remember, he has been satisfied at my retorts and backed down - except for today. He just pushed and pushed and pushed. I tried my best to remind him that he was crossing the line each time my therapist stepped out of the room. He didn't care. At one point, I kicked him under the table because his mouth was getting a little to fresh. He slammed his hands down on the table, stood up and got in my face saying, "What'd you do that for??". I had no other choice but to let him have it , verbally this is, in front of my therapist. I just wasn't pretty. Several times I had to tell him to "shut up". I never use that term with my kids as I feel it is verbally degrading but that is how far he pushed me. When we finally got out of there, I was ready to blow up. I kept my cool recognizing that my ego had been seriously bruised. I got home, sent him to his room, got Gabi down for a nap, Olivia in quite time, took a few deep breaths and went to confront my son. It started out calm and then I just couldn't hold back the tears. I was so hurt, so embarrassed, so angry. I let the tears flow. I wanted him to see what he had done to me by treating me so disrespectfully. I think he was a little surprised. I pointed out that we had always had a good enough relationship that ever since he was two years old, I could look at him across the table and have that "you better knock it off" look and he would respect that and settle down. And that today, was the first time ever, that he just continued to run past that line ignoring any hints of disrespect. I called Tom, he was in Seattle, WA, in tears. He was hanging out with one of my lifelong friends doing my bidding at Pike's Place Market in downtown Seattle. I have never called him before that upset. I hysterically recounted the days events - he asked to speak with Jake and I gladly handed the phone over. After that, I think it sunk into my son's thick skull how far he had pushed me.

Even though Tom was to be home the next day, Jake spent the next 24 hours dreading his father's homecoming. I have come to the conclusion that when the kids get that far out of hand, that waiting until Tom comes home to have just punishment served, is fine with me. Even if that means 2-3 days after the incident.

And you ask how this parallels with my own childhood. Oh, baby, if you could have been a fly on the wall during those teenage years with my mom. I had called my mom expecting some sympathy and support, which she did give in some manner, but I think she was also brought back to a time when she had felt those exact same emotions. As I had felt, that is. I think that when we have kids that our parents are secretly hoping that we end up with kids that are exactly like us. I mean, how else would parenting be justified if we couldn't get revenge on our own kids later in life. Apparently, I was just a little lippy when I was younger. So lippy, in fact, that I brought my mom to tears on several occasions. I know how it feels now and I ain't pretty. I'm sorry mom. I never should have hurt or disrespected you that way. I was just a kid and never imagined what kind of impact that would have on you as a person or my main "parental figure". I've been there now, I know how it feels and would never wish that on anyone. I'm sorry.

Kitties in the attic

We pick and choose our battles. As parents, we know that we can never win every battle with our kids. We also don't want to take the time to fight with them all day. So, we choose what we want to fight with them about. There is one battle with my fluffiest children, that I fight on a daily basis - attic access. Our house is a bungalow style, so our ceilings on our second floor are sloped. We have fabulous, walk-in, storage at the front and back of our house. One side houses all my Christmas goodies and all my old baby equipment. The other side, as referred to by my husband, is my office. It stores all the clothes my kids have ever worn since they were born. For Jake, that's almost 8 years worth of clothes. I save these for our precious Emmy's unborn child or the possibility of adding one more to our family. I am in that "office" often. Between exchanging clothes as the seasons change for a family of five, finding shoes to fit their ever growing feet and my busy business on ebay - I spend a lot of time opening and closing that door to the attic.

Well, my furriest kids enjoy playing hide and seek in there. I don't like them in their for safety purposes and the plain fact that they nap on the clothes and get LOTS of fur on them. This is a battle I choose to fight with them. They like to be in there, I don't want them in there. I open the door, sit on the floor and work on getting my ebay packages out - they stand in the doorway, just waiting for me to turn my head so they can run in. Sometimes I turn my head just to psych them out. They run in thinking they are being sneaky and I grab whatever part of them I can get my hands on - ears, tails, paws, whatever. I would say that I win this battle only 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time - I choose to let them win - to teach them a lesson. I finish what I am doing, turn the lights out (there are no windows so it is pitch black dark), close the door and walk away. Most times I forget they are in there until the middle of the night when they scratch at the door and let out cries of surrender. I open the door, flip on the light - yea, I get my jollies out of watching them squint as their eyes get used to the light - and give out motherly pieces of advice like, "Did you learn your lesson?", "Are you going to do THAT again?", "I bet you'll stay out of there for a while!". The next day comes, I walk in the closet to grab something,turn around and you guessed it, there they are, awaiting the battle to begin again! This picture just sums up their attitude about this battle - BRING IT ON!

Setback Number One . . .

As my sister would say, I've been a poor internet friend. Does it count that I've made countless numbers of posts in my head over the last month, keeping you updated on all the changes that have taken place?? Guess not, since this is the first time you're heard this. I promise that I will post date a few posts from the past month to bring you up to speed on what's been going on. But this post is in the present, so pay attention. I will give a little background to help you understand better.

As I've told you, we are in the process of selling the house. No takers yet. And not even any offers. That's okay - the Lord knows when and that is fine with me. One of the things we have held off on doing, as far as repairs go, is to replace our carpet in the family room and hallway. The carpet is 10 years old and needs replacing. I know that. I also know that their are hardwood floors underneath, so the new owner just has to pull the carpet up and presto, an instant new floor. As the weeks have passed, one of the questions that has come up from countless realtors and prospective buyers is what kind of flooring is under that horrid carpet. Ok, ok, I get the point. So, I finally take the plunge and decide to rip it up myself. I'm moving anyway and won't have to put up with the hardwoods. I don't like hardwoods in my living space and this room is where our TV is in and my place to curl up on the carpeted floors and watch a movie. The whole house has hardwoods and I have covered most of them up with carpeting - especially my stairs and upstairs hallway - it has made it much cozier and much safer for my clutzy family (remember my cut finger). Yeah, I couldn't see my kids learning to walk up and down HARDWOOD stairs when they were learning to walk - disaster!! Anyway, T and I decided to take the plunge and just do it. Also, as a side note, we had had comments about our kitchen linoleum being to worn and called our best buddy contractor friend to fix it. He finished most of it today. We decided to start in our hallway, just to see what condition the floors were in - we moved in with the carpet already laid, so we weren't exactly sure what we were dealing with. After spending an hour ripping up the tacks, padding and carpet, we concluded that they looked pretty nice. What do you think? And don't mind the kitty.

Yeah, I think they look nice too. So we decided to take the plunge and go for our 14X16 family room. We were hesitant recognizing that they room was pretty large and taking it step by step just praying for great hardwoods and not big water spots or stains. Looks just as nice as the hallway, huh??.

As you can see on the right side of the picture, we have a fireplace and a gorgeous stone hearth. It is one of the focal points of the room and thanks to a very generous Christmas gift from my father, has a beautiful fireplace screen. Unfortunately dad, I can't take that with me when I move. Boo, hoo. Ok, ready for this. We get to the fireplace and continue ripping up the carpet, only to reveal that the HARDWOODS STOP!! Yep, you read that right. They just stop and floor board continues from there on. WTH!! For those not in the IMing world, that means WHAT THE H**L!! T and I were in shock. I checked the farthest corner of the room only to reveal that there were 3 planks of hardwood. The missing hardwood isn't even centered in the room. From what I understand from a long time neighbor, this house had water damage a LONG time ago. We have a postal slot in the family room that the mailman puts our letters in from the outside, they go down a shoot, and we collect them from the inside. Pretty cool when it's 10 below in the winter! Well, according to our neighbor, at one time, a running garden hose got placed in that postal slot and obviously destroyed the part of the floor that is missing its hardwood. Of course, we didn't think about that story as we were so gleefully ripping the carpet up. It's sort of hard to see because of the lighting but the hardwoods just stop where the stone hearth begins. Tomorrow should prove to be an interesting day. Now what do we do??

Welcome Rachel Michelle Groner!

Born April 28, 2005 at 7:28 a.m. weighing 8 lbs., 7 oz., 20 inches long

Welcome to our world little one! It was so exciting to meet you! It's amazing how small you look compared to your 2 1/2 yr old sister! I'm sure Megan is thrilled to be a big sister. Before you know it, she'll be reading you books and playing dress up with you. I can't wait to get to know you better!