June 7, 2008

It's been two years. Two years ago today we lost you. Looking through my photo albums is like a double-edged sword. It brings me such joy and laughter as I am reminded of the times we spent together and yet it makes me so angry that you are gone and we don't have you anymore. I shake my head.

If you didn't know it, you are missed. The mere thought of having a step-mother made the hairs on my head stand up. I was in the 8th grade when you and dad got married. I wasn't even allowed to go to your wedding. I don't remember much of our early years except for the fact that we played LOTS of tricks on you. That I didn't like you. That, at that tender age, I felt like you were just trying to replace my mother and have someone to boss around. But, as the years went on and I slowly matured, I began to see that you really were a friend, a confidant, a supporter, an ally, a team member against the evil one (dad!). You spoke up for us, you defended us, and you loved us.

My freshest memories are of you and your grandchildren. Wow. It brings a smile to my face. Remembering you. Watching you with all your grandkids. Yeah, I know there were times when they drove you nuts and the volume in your house was much more than you could stand. That you had to just retire to your room for several hours to get some peace and quiet. But you were wonderful to them and they miss you too.

We are left with a void, still. We wonder when it will get better. Time heals we are told. Maybe, someday, it will be less painful. But we will never forget and we will keep your memory alive, for them, Anthony, Jacob, Alyssa, Olivia, Madelyn, Gabrielle, Camille, Rosemary and even Gianna. Because they will never forget their Grammy Pammy.

We love you.