Boy, am I exhausted. Within 10 days my mom had a D&C, we found out she had uterine cancer and she had surgery a week later. And I wonder why my brain feels like mush. The surgery went well and the doctor was glad to tell us that nothing spread and the cancer was contained. Praise God - it's about time this thing turned positive. Between my sisters and I, we spent every waking moment with my mom while she was in the hospital. We never left her side. Not only did I not trust the hospital staff but my mom is hard of hearing and I didn't want her to miss anything from either the doctors, nurses or aides. I also wanted to be the one responsible for her care, for getting her out of bed, bringing her to the bathroom, making sure she had enough to drink, that she was comfortable, that she would have someone to lean on if she needed to walk around the unit. But most importantly, that I was there for her emotional support when the furry of this last week hit her upside the head. And that did come once she arrived home. I don't think any one of use really had time to deal with what just happened - especially the one that it happened to. Right now, I am drained on every possible level of existence - mentally, physically, psychologically, spiritually. There will be a time for me too to process what we have just been through.

Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get a break. My life has been riddled with so many ups and downs - I'd like to get off this roller coaster now. Can I? When will I? I'm starting to think that it will be never. Our family got hit with another oncoming train these last few weeks. Even before I start to explain this, you must understand the background and other stressors. In September we were informed that my dad's cancer is back. We all knew it would never be cured but were hoping for the best and that got thrown back in our faces. To add insult to injury, we also found out on that same day that two of my three kids had been passed a genetic cancer disorder from their fathers side of the family. And you wonder why I'm so pessimistic. So, back to the present. I'm was going to my mom's (in Springfield, VA) for a family gathering to celebrate my daughter and my niece's 5th birthdays. togethers since they turned one. This was over a weekend and I had planned to leave that Sunday. My mom was to have a routine D & C to observe some fibroids that Monday to which my sister was going to take her. Because of a mix up in scheduling, I ended up taking her that Monday while my sister stayed home and schooled the kids. Good thing I was the one that took her. The procedure lasted the expected time and the doctor came out to talk to me after it was done. I could tell this wasn't going to be good. All I remember hearing were the words "polyps" and "very thick tissue". From my experience from my husbands genetic disorder, I knew what polyps most likely meant - cancer. And the "very thick tissue" made that even worse. So, me being the most medically inclined asked all the appropriate questions and was left with the task of informing and explaining to my mom this new predicament. Thank God I was the one here and not my not-so-medically-inclined sister. We were all pretty calm that day not wanting to jump to conclusions and just leaning on the side of optimism. I don't know why I bothered because it never works. By Tuesday afternoon, we had found out that in fact it was cancerous and to top it off, very fast growing. Great. That day just sucked. I couldn't even cry. I went into problem solving mode and trying to shelter my mom from this pain and uncertainty she was feeling mode. Long learned habit. Within minutes of finding out the diagnosis, I was on the phone with the cancer specialists making appointments as soon as I could. My next phone calls were made to put my life on hold while I tried to clean up this mess. We met with a gynecological cancer specialist the next day, who reviewed my mom's case and pushed for surgery ASAP rather than putting it off until he could find an earlier opening in his schedule (November) - my mom wanted it early in the morning so she wouldn't have to stay on no food diet as long. Turns out that we pushed to get it done ASAP also and who cared how long she had to be on a no food diet. Getting this stuff out of her became #1.