Journal of THE Boss: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

. . . . to all and to all a good night.

What an interesting Christmas season this has been! From the first moment that Thanksgiving was over and all the turkey paraphenalia was put away, my kids were a flutter about Christmas. We went to a Christmas tree farm to get our Christmas tree with high hopes and grand images of the perfect outing. After almost an hour of trudging and tripping over sticks, thorns and branches, me carrying a very hefty and tired Gabi on my back, we left empty handed. Nothing there fit my image of what our Christmas tree in our new house was supposed to look like. Where else could we go in this state that we now call home?? I could name 5 places right off the bat that I could go to back in Cleveland if all else failed and we couldn't find that "Griswold Family Christmas Tree". Heck, if we were in Cleveland, it would have been over with by now. We go to one place, they always have the tree we want, we pick it out, pay for it and strap it to the inside of our car and drive the 7 minutes back to our home. But here we were leaving empty handed from the one place that I knew that sold Christmas trees. I had just happened to see the sign for Aunt Mary's Christmas Tree Farm as I was traveling these Pennsylvania country roads on my way to a destination. That's it, that's all I had. Now what?? We happened to remember a trailer that sold Christmas trees and tried there. No luck. I was just about ready to give up when I remembered a nursery that was across from my favorite grocery store. And just like in Cleveland, we walked in, found that perfect tree within 5 minutes, strapped it to the inside of our car, and drove the 15 minutes home. CHECK. One more thing to add to my list of new traditions and memories. I hate that list.

Once we got our tree home, and followed in the traditions of what we had always done the day we get our tree and decorate it, I just had this overwhelming sense of sadness. I wanted to cry and if I remember correctly, I did. I was cranky and b**chy and mean and yelling at the kids. It took me a moment to figure out but I just didn't want to be there. I didn't want to make new traditions and memories. I wanted my old house. I knew exactly where all my decorations went there and I had the hardest time even deciding where to put the decorations here. Hello - I had at least 2 extra rooms to spread my boxes of goodies out, it should have been fun to do that. But it wasn't. I wanted our old cramped living room where we crammed most of our festive items. I hated every minute of decorating this year. I thought I would look forward to decorating our oak banister in our open foyer. I had visions of real lighted garland wrapped in between the spindles with a big bow at the end of the banister. I saw white lights on our little bushes outside and real pine garland outlining our new doorway. That was my vision of decorating this season and I found it so hard to even want to do it. But, I finally dragged myself out to the store and picked out a very petite princess pine and carefully wrapped it in lights and threaded it through our banister. It took me 2 weeks to even bring myself to do it. How beautiful it was though. I could take joy in that. I tried my best to take joy in watching my kids eyes light up when we took them to see Santa and to ride the Christmas train at the mall. CHECK. Another 2 traditions we had established in our old life and now could continue on in our new life. I really did try. We even made a few new traditions - we went to an old Moravian candlelight church service in downtown Bethlehem. How magical that was. And for Christmas Eve, we had shrimp and Alaskan King crab claws. How delectable that was. So, I did try. And I did it, I got through it. I smiled and gritted my teeth for my kids and my husband. This is their most enjoyable season and I tried for them. But now, I'm so glad it's over. Now I can sit peacefully and wait for the real owners of this house to come and claim it. I think the reality just hit me that this is home now. Whether I like it or not, I live here. In a state that I have always made fun of and swore I would never live in. Now it's time to stop using "the holidays" as an excuse. Maybe that's why I wanted to get this season over with. So I could stop using "the holidays" as an excuse and make every effort to get acclimated to my new home. My new years resolution is more like a list of To Do's. Get involved in the church that we have found - volunteer for the nursery like I have done since I was a teenager at the various churches I have attended. Find a homeschooling group in this area. Get my kids involved in some kind of fine arts program. Get together with some of the girls at work that have young children and have been begging me to set up a playdate. And probably at the top of this list - GET THIS DARN HOUSE PAINTED. NO MORE WHITE WALLS!!

So, I hope your season was more enjoyable than mine. I look forward to next year when I will at least will know where I can get my Christmas trees and that decorating my banister in real garland brings me great joy. And now, I leave you with pictures from our holiday season.

Opening the Christmas tree