Lawsuit Brewing

Is there a place where I can turn in the genes that have been distributed to me and replace them for newer better ones?? If there is such a place, would someone please tell me?? There is a gene that has been part of my genetic makeup since I was born that I'd like to trade in for a new one. And it really doesn't have to be new, it can just be different.

Last month, when I was in NY taking care of my newborn niece, I stubbed my toe on the foot of my sisters bed. I stub my toes often. As a matter of fact, I had stubbed that exact same toe over the summer. And it wasn't any place dramatic or a cramped space where my big ole flippers wouldn't fit, it was the back of my daughters foot because I was following to close behind her and she stopped suddenly. This time, it hurt really bad. My brother-in-law felt responsible because it was his house and I stubbed my foot on his bed. Yeah, like I'm going to sue you or something. As usual, that toe became really swollen and black and blue. The bruising even extended part way down my foot. I had a hard time walking for days and unlike the summer time when I can go barefoot, I had an even harder time wearing shoes. Well, this little situation went on for several weeks. Some of the swelling went down and some of the bruising went away but after 3 weeks, it still looked pretty nasty. It still hurt to bend it and I was still having a hard time finding shoes that didn't hurt it.

This week, I went to my gymnastics class without thinking twice about the condition of my toe. As we started increasing the intensity of our tumbling, I noticed immediately that my toe was extremely painful. One of the girls that I work out with is an athletic trainer and I had her look at it. She took one look at it and immediately knew that it was broken. "BROKEN!! YOU"VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!", I yelled at her. From my own medical background, I know there isn't much, if anything you can do for a broken toe. My friend suggested that I tape the broken toe together with his stronger buddy next to him and give it another 3-5 weeks to heal. Maybe I might act on my first impulse and sue my brother-in-law after all.

But after much discussion with my sister, she pointed out something very enlightening about my ensuing lawsuit. It wasn't my brother-in-law that I should sue, it was my father. After all, he is the one that passed on that horrid KLUTZ Gene to me. Ask any of my kids and they will tell you that their Pop Pop is the Master Klutz. And the sad thing is that that gene has been passed down to my kids. How sad. It is evidenced when my younger daughter is walking out of my room talking to me and runs into the door or when my son is walking to Ft. Myers Beach (he was about 3) not paying a darn bit of attention and runs into a lightpost. Yes, a lighpost. And to this day, whenever we pass that lightpost on Ft. Myers Beach, we pay homage to it. My son, now at 8, doesn't appreciate the humor. But what he will remind you of and will say to you is this, "Hey, don't blame me, it's Pop Pop's fault. He's the one that gave us the Klutz Gene." I can't argue with him on that one. And whenever they do do something klutzy, they feed me that same line. And most of the time, I just can't fault them for it because it is true. We all have the dreaded Klutz Gene. So, now I think I'm going to switch my focus to my father.. So, watch out, expect to be served.

THE EVIDENCE

Just in case it's hard to see . . .