This is my most favorite place in the world. I could sit here for hours. Just sit. Sit and think, sit and daydream, sit and work through life's problems, sit and watch my kids romp and play in the water and sand or simply just sit. And do nothing. Clear my mind of the daily exercises. Clear my thoughts of nothing and everything. Relax my being and melt into the sand. I've sat here for years. Granted, it hasn't been as peaceful as it is today. Today, I have a 9 year old, 7 year old and 5 year old that can surely entertain themselves. Occasionally, I am asked if my feet need cleaning or am shown a sandcrab or asked to take a glance at a newly created sand castle.
I reflect on days gone by when my kids were babies. I still sat here. Then, it was with a stroller next to me and a baby inside napping, or trying to nap, or just sitting enjoying the sound of the waves. Once and a while the tide would come in and I would have to jump up and rescue the stroller from the oncoming water. There was a time when they were toddlers that I would sit here and just watch them run in and out of the surf. Then, my time here was limited. But I still took advantage of it.
My hubby likes to walk the beach. I hate it. I sit here. That's my thing. As I sit here today, my mind goes to mush. I am thankful that I took the time to take this 2 day jaunt. My hubby had a 10 day break from work and I feel like I dwindled it away and didn't take advantage of the time that I could have spent together as a family. I worked 4 days in a row (being a stay at home homeschooling mom, I usually only work 2 short evenings or mornings), then I took 2 days to go to NY to help my sister paint her first home. Add it up, that leaves 2 full days at home. The painting in NY was an absolute necessity, my sister needed me and there was no question that I needed to make time to be there. The 4 days at work I could have done without. My oldest daughter clung to my leg on day 3 and asked when I was going to stop leaving and stay home. No lie, she really said that. That comment hurt. And it was said again to me on day 4 and to my hubby when he put her to bed that nite. I belong at home with my kids and if I've ever wondered if they notice that is my role or not, it was certainly made clear with my daughters comments. So, as I made the flight home from NY after my painting excursion, I made up my mind that we were going to Florida. It would only be for a little over 2 days but we were going. To be together and just be us. No distractions. Just us. We've always found this place as a retreat and I need it more than ever right now. My life is fast paced. I have accepted that and deal with it very well on a day to day basis. But there are times when I just need to sit and be.
And today I have accomplished that.
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