Monday, May 14, 2007

Permission Slip

My sister and I were just discussing an adage and trying to figure it out. I even Googled it because I was sure there was another part to it but I was disappointed to find out that there wasn't. The adage is:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I was positive that there was a part about being fooled three times. So, I'll just stick to my Three strikes, you're out! adage. I use that adage mostly with disciplining my kids - I'll tell them once to quit a certain behavior, I'll tell them again what's going to happen if they don't listen to me and then I'll follow through with that consequence. I'm pretty good about follow through and find that has made such a difference in their behavior.

I guess I've never really thought about the need to extend the adage that I have adopted to other aspects and people in my life. Just as my sister feels she's the "Resident Doormat", you could probably call me the "Resident Scapegoat". I am usually put into that role only with my family. Whenever anything goes wrong, somehow, it's always my fault. Even when the situation doesn't even involve me, somehow, somewhere, it's my fault. A subtitle that falls under the "Resident Scapegoat" title is the "Resident Advocate". In our family unit, I think each of us at times plays this role. And I think it can be a good thing to sometimes offer another point of view if you have an issue with another. But at the present time, that subtitle is biting me in the butt.

So, here is what I have to say to that.

I hereby give myself permission to no longer be the 'Resident Scapegoat' for my family. I am adult enough to admit when I have wronged someone. I am mature enough to say 'I'm sorry' to that person - even though it might take me a while to collect my feelings and get my emotions under control. When it actually IS my fault, I'm mature enough to recognize it and proceed accordingly.

And as far as my role of being an advocate, I also hereby give myself permission to no longer take on that responsibility. I feel I need to do that because, One, Two, Three times I've been screwed and you know what,



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